inbox / purgastory.

[transmit]

HELLO

"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:

cursed chihuahua papers

Comments

[voring]

[HE WOULD. TERRIBLE OTOME PLAYER, TERRIBLE CHARACTER, JUST ALL AROUND TERRIBLE.]

Is that you? Haha. [DON'T JUST HAHA ABOUT IT!!!!!] There's a new Pizza Hat! I'll meet you there, okay? And pick up some drinks on the way. Do you like beer?

[transmit]

Now a guy's gotta pick up his own drinks? Maaaan. We're making it beers to keep it easy.

[ He sighs, but it's the kind of overdramatic sigh that is clearly not meant to be taken seriously. ]

If you have any other requests while I'm at it, we only ever meet for the first time once.

[voring]

We've met before?

[HE REALLY JUST CALLED SOMEONE AT COMPLETE RANDOM.]

That's good, though! [The way he meant that he himself could pick up the drinks but like. He's not going to correct Elysium...] I'll bring this snack bag! Bye!

[JUST HANGS UP AND VANISHES.]

[transmit]

[ ME LIKE. I'M THE ONE WHO READ THAT WRONG. I'M THE FOOL. E(LY)'s SINS ARE MY OWN…

Whatever, we ball. Elysium shows up with a party popper and a party hat for some reason… where is he. Also, a lot more than just drinks by the look of the bags (plural) he has in his hands. ]

[voring]

[NOT E(LY)'S SINS. It's fine your sins have cursed Ely now...

This is so fucking funny. He's waiting outside of the Pizza Hat with a bag full of snacks, kind of glancing around in a bit if a lackadaisical way. When he spots this bozo showing up all decked out, though, he just raises a hand in greeting and laughs.]

Are we having a party?

[transmit]

[



In greeting, he blows the party popper in his fellow bozo's direction. Thank god none of these establishments are staffed by actual people. ]

Aren't we? It's your welcoming party, yeah. Woohoo.

[ ignores that he is like one week late before he proceeds to plop another party hat atop obikawa's head. ]

It's Elysium! And if I'm remembering correctly—you're Señor Obikawa.

[voring]

[Nagi is out there somewhere...

This is so fucking funny though, he will just accept the party popper and the hat.]

I was here just as long as you guys, though! Just in a different part! It was worse because there wasn't any food or people, though. [HELL FOR HIM!!] That's me, yeah! Obikawa Kiyoshi!

[transmit]

No way. You didn't even have Ilulu and Tobari with you? Hikaru?

[ Says that one last as he's yet to meet him… ]

What was out there?

[voring]

Nope! I only met them when we were in the cage.

[His fucking cage comrades... They're just out there. ANYWAY as he starts to head into the Pizza Hat:]

Doors and mountains with ice and stuff!

[transmit]

[ WHY CAN'T ANYONE IN THIS GAME EXPLAIN ANYTHING NORMALLY ASIDE FROM YOUR OTHER CHARACTER, AKI. Elysium is resisting the urge to go what the fuck. Well, that's wrong, as there is also Yosuke but things are so dire out here.

Follows him into the Pizza Dahat instinctively… ]

How did that happen? Someone [ yaywon ] rounded you all up and stuck you in one? Or did you just suddenly find yourself in it?

[voring]

[IT'S NOT MY FAULT!!!!! YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF CLOWNS!! But into the NOT PIZZA DAHAT they go...]

It was after that hand freak unzipped the air to show us the flower field with our people in it.

[me realizing this means timeline-wise they got the reveal before anyone else since they were trapped in the cage for multiple days which is hilarious honestly.]

After I got out of that place, I was in the cage and that weird rat was there with the key but it wouldn't let us out.

[transmit]

[ He has so many questions but he must face the sobering reality that he will get answers for none of them, even if more are popping up by the minute. Still, he will achieve his inner zen and just listens to all of this like 'that's neat,' as he must when it comes to certain people.

Obikawa… ]

Good thing you guys didn't have to spend the entire month in there… man. That's one way to go crazy. But to your welcoming here and your escape! Both are pretty worthwhile causes to celebrate.

[ pfft. ]

Do you know what kind of pizza you want?

[voring]

[He could ask more questions but it is very true that there's a high possibility they will simply never be answered in a satisfactory way, just by virtue of who and what he is as a creature.]

There's no way it would have gone on that long! Toe would have shot that rat before then.

[WHICH AGAIN WOULD HAVE PROBABLY BEEN A MERCY. This rat really had to endure so much and for what. But he'll move up to the counter wahoo!!]

I like anything! As long as it isn't corn and mayo.

[transmit]

Should we make a super pizza? Add all the toppings besides corn and mayo?

[ FOCUSES ON WHAT MAKES SENSE (super pizza) INSTEAD OF WHAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE (toes shooting rats, though, tbf, this is somewhat easier to make sense of over everything else…) ]

[voring]

[THE BAR IS REALLY ON THE FLOOR HERE... He seems immediately enamored with this idea, though, my god.]

Woah! Yeah, let's do it! I've never had a super pizza before!

[transmit]

[ why are they getting along so well aki i'm in tears

NOT THE IMMEDIATE APPROVAL OF SUPER PIZZA!!!! MY GOD ]

Yeah? Yeah?? It's been a while since anyone's spoken my language! Let's do it!

[ beelines for the kiosk. this is about to be such a disaster. ]

[voring]

[IT'S AN UNFORTUNATE ENERGY HERE...]

We should put double of the best toppings, too! That way it'll be twice as good.

[Is that how it works.]

[transmit]

[ it is totally how it works. why not just have your favourite things all the time every time? isn't that practically an infinite happiness glitch? ]

Oh, for sure. Double cheese, double meat. What else do you you think we should double up on?

[ at this rate they are not picking up a slice without it dropping all its spaghetti ]

[voring]

[THIS IS REALLY JUST GOING TO BE A PIZZA THEY HAVE TO EAT WITH SPOONS.]

Mushrooms are good! And bell peppers. Make sure to get pepperoni and sausage, too. Also the crispy little hams! Not the big floppy ones.

[transmit]

[ IS THIS JUST… A BURRITO BOWL…??? SANS BURRITO? me who has never had chipotle or a burrito bowl in my life ]

Crispy little hams… bacon? All of that's counted under double meat so you're good. Unless you wanted triple of those specifically.

[ but they need those floppy ones to go with the pineapple, obikawa. hmmm. one order of that, then. ]

[voring]

[YOU HAVENT? oh my god there really is something about just a big bowl of many things mixed together. I GUESS IT IS...A BURRITO PIZZA BOWL..........]

Triple! [TRIPLE BACON WITH ALL THESE OTHER TOPPINGS why not. He really said ham and pineapple is good but if you're getting double you should only get double bacon. And then it became triple bacon.]

You can't go wrong with more of things. Unless they're bad, and then you can.

[hashtag words of wisdom]

[transmit]

[ the mexican here is so dire that no one told me to have it unless i swing over to seattle, tears up

But I also agree that bacon makes everything better… TRIPLE bacon? That's how you make things three times as good. ]

No such thing as too much of a good thing, true!

[ He doesn't even subscribe to this logic but he's in Rome and doing as the Romans. He's perfectly happy to just go along with it, and way too many button presses later, super pizza is officially up to be made in the kitchen! He looks around with interest. ]

Think we can catch where it's being made?

[voring]

[oh that's so sadge... next time you are back... time to get u some good food even tho cali does it better...

TRIPLE BACON! He appreciates the energy of someone just going along with his insane bullshit.]

Yeah, right? [It's so true! It's not true at all but it's so true! ANYWAY. He just pats the counter.] Wanna hop it and look?

[transmit]

[ I LIKE HOW EVEN YOU'RE LIKE… BUT ELSEWHERE IS BETTER… one day i will have excellent mexican cuisine ]

Let's go!!

[ hops over

This probably looks so incredibly obscene… every frat bro's wet dream after a night of partying, or something. But the longer it goes on, the more Elysium's kind of like ? at these ingredients spawning out of nowhere… these invisible hands… it is one thing to look at a screen of these ingredients, another seeing them put together. ]

Huh. Somehow, this wasn't what I was expecting.

[ YOU DID THIS ]

[voring]

[LISTEN IT'S JUST FACT THAT THE CLOSER YOU GET TO MEXICO THE BETTER THE MEXICAN FOOD IS.

This is so fucking funny though HE ALSO HOPS OVER except he immediately gets distracted from the mission and starts rummaging around in the little drawers and stuff that hide behind the counter. Whenever he wanders back to Elysium his hands are full of parmesan cheese packets and marinara sauce dipping containers.]

Oh. Yeah, huh. How's that even happening?