inbox / purgastory.

[transmit]

HELLO

"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:

cursed chihuahua papers

Comments

[transmit]

[ at what point does it stop being pizza when the crust is no longer visible and it's like 1% of its total composition. He continues watching in contained abject horror. ]

Woooo! [ WHY IS HE GOING WOOO? He's cheering Obikawa on. ] You've totally got this, then.

[ this really went from 'we' to 'you'

but anyway

pizza done. The invisible hands seem to struggle to get it to the serving window, and even then, will it fit…? The suspense is real. They're really out-menacing a cursed location. ]

[voring]

[DON'T JUST GO WOOO?????]

Woooo! [ALSO GOES WOOOO.] Wow, it ended up being huge?

[WHY DOES HE SOUND KIND OF SURPRISED, HE WATCHED THIS HAPPEN. But it... squeezes through the delivery window... shedding some of its precious toppings as it goes. But it's fine. Because there is more. There is so much more.

Once it's mostly on the other side, Obikawa will pick it up from the bottom box tray thing it's sitting on and start scooting back.]

Tell me where to go because I'm not gonna be able to see around this thing!

[transmit]

[ that's what she said



suddenly gets ptsd trying to backseat hak in the bostco parking lot. Just kidding. He just frets in place because up close? THIS THING IS EVEN MORE MASSIVE!!! woah, before quickly nodding and moving around to stand in front then off to the side. ]

Forward five steps, right three. There'll be a table in front of you to set it down.

[ Obikawa is doing such a good job of carrying it but from the sheer weight of toppings it may become a literal leaning tower of pizza(?). ]

[voring]

[NOT THE BACKSEAT DRIVING. The way Hak had to suffer through Obikawa's driving while high later so the fates truly just have a way of making everything work out in the end... or something.

But! He will take five steps forward and three to the right, and then scoot forward until he bumps into the table. PLACES IT... Not exactly the most carefully, so some of the toppings go slip-slidin' off but it's fine. It is definitely leaning...]

Yeah! We made it, no casualties!

[transmit]

[ what would count as a casualty if not the strays on the floor

Them getting buried underneath pizza? Hmmm. But that's beside the point because the worst has come to pass. Some would argue that would be the pizza itself, and Elysium may start to feel that way very soon—but for now, there's a victory to ride, and he's already holding his hand up high. ]

We did, we did—! High five, man! Wanna do us the honours?

[voring]

[A casualty would be a whole topping avalanche... Or that yes. Pizza burial that someone else would have to excavate them from. How embarrassing.

GIVES A HIGH-FIVE THOUGH. VICTORY!!! WHAT DID THEY EVEN WIN HERE.]

High five, high five! Let me cut some off of this--

[Hops back over the counter real quick to get a plastic knife. Hops back. Starts sawing for like 4 seconds at this piece before realizing it is a pointless endeavor and simply trying to peel a slice away from the rest of the mountain one little wiggle at a time.]

We should have just made it into a bowl.

[transmit]

[ this icon with obikawa's bakery just out there

But Elysium watches this happen in morbid fascination. Thinks about how this entire pizza is just lukewarm so all the cheeses likely aren't cheesing… where is the elusive and desired cheese pull?

Nowhere. ]

Yeah? I'm thinking we need the momentum from an entire guillotine to get a clean cut out of this thing. But then—! We wouldn't have been able to say we made a super pizza.

[ clearly this is the most important point ]

[voring]

[please understand that enosumi draws his ass so lovingly at any chance she can get. behold. witness.

Anyway his expression lights up like HEY WAIT A SECOND, YOU'RE ON TO SOMETHING?]

If you cut it with a guillotine, then isn't that even more of a super pizza? It is! [Also, imagine the WILDNESS of just being able to say you ate a pizza too big to fit through the order window AND it was cut by guillotine. AMAZING.]

Should we?!