Entry tags:
inbox / purgastory.
HELLO

"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:
cursed chihuahua papers

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Someone must really like seeing the two of you together.
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[ spoon. ]
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[ he brings elysium's hands up to his mouth so he can lightly breathe out air onto them. get warm... ]
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[ Like he's marveling. This is so silly. ]
Hmm. The odds I'd win? [ win what. ] If I gave it my full effort, I think I could.
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[ he goes quiet, focusing on trying to warm him up, not paying any mind to the blood. ]
You're close to Hien, right? He reacted to you.
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[ His gaze drops. It looks more tender. ]
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[ he looks at him for another few seconds that feel longer than they are, before turning to see where are the closest seats in here. ]
Sit down.
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Your arm came back. Today?
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[ he wasn't sure if he was going to mention it now because of how terrible the cyoa returns were, but it is hard to talk around the arm being back. ]
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[ Thorns can talk as much as he wants to talk. But for now, Elysium's fine with just holding onto his hands like this. ]
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[ to the point where he isn't even sure what to say. or, just, what's appropriate to say. ]
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What happens when he tries to pull Thorns onto his lap? ]
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Yes?
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[ Back hugs and rests his chin on Thorns' shoulder.
…
But also sneaks his fingers under Thorns' shirt because he had seemed intent on wanting to warm them. Thank you. 🥺 ]
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thorns isn't complaining though. he returns to being quiet, listening to elysium breathe against him. ]
I thought of an answer to your question. But I wanted to ask you something first.
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[ … ]
Shoot.
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[ they have both more or less agreed to try to be more open with each other, but that is something that is still going to take work. you can't completely change how you process and react to things in just a few days. ]
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[ A quiet laugh, as his arms around Thorns tightens. ]
I just want you to be happy. But… it'd be nice if we could be happy together.
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... I just wanted to be sure. In case there are others.
[ there is that pang of jealousy again that he is trying very hard to not be noticeable. he is aware it is likely him making a mountain out of a mole hill but it's somehow difficult to be logical when it comes to this. ]
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… Do you think that because of earlier?
[ When he was the one fawning over Rafayel? So funny. ]
I told you before, and I'll keep telling you if you want me to: there's you and only you. … At what capacity you want that to hold true is up to you. But you have to tell me.
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[ there is still so much they need to work through, and talk about, before they are on the same page about so many things. he could also point out that he was clearly cursed in regards to rafayel, and he manages not to.
but. but. ]
You acted surprised that I decided so quickly. My memories returning only cemented the impact you had on me. Elysium, my arm may be a compass, but you have been pointing me to the right direction far before I had this.
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[ He plays it off as something to laugh at, even as his fingers curl into warmer skin.
He doesn't know how long he has. He doesn't know how often he'll be able to visit the Cuna de Nene. Their lives aren't something either of them can set aside and he's made his peace with that, with or without the decision to become something more. In some ideal version of the world, Thorns would find the person he's meant to be with—someone who could stay by his side day in, day out, the person he could grow to old age with. And this doesn't even begin to cover Thorns' side of it—his life is just as dangerous, if not more so.
But this isn't some ideal version of the world Elysium wishes exists. They're living in their version of it, one where pain comes hand in hand with happiness and both have to be accepted. ]
… All my realisations came when I didn't have my memories, ironically enough. I may want you to be happy, but… you're such a big part of me, Thorns. So much of what I've done and what I want to do exists because of you, that I was forced to acknowledge how much of a black box my life had become just losing you.
[ … ]
Haha. I thought I was really ridiculous, letting someone like that out of my grasp. I knew, objectively, what my reasons were—but on paper, they don't really hold weight, do they?
Especially if I'm anywhere near half as important to you.
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[ he closes his eyes, letting the words sink in.
it does make how skittish elysium was around him make more sense, when thorns just assumed that the guy was weirded out over thorns insisting they were friends. but... he supposes he has assumed a lot about things that eventually led to their relationship being deeply strained.
thorns may be better at handling certain things, but part of that growth had to do with returning to iberia and meeting his crew, so losing those memories greatly hindered his ability to genuinely discuss how he felt about his cyoa. it was easier to explain events to the others, since he could do that like he was reading a book, but he floundered when it came to elysium.
he can still visualize the simulation, the other version of him that invited elysium to go with him. something that thorns isn't sure he'd actually do. not because he doesn't want elysium with him, but because he is a much bigger asset to rhodes island than thorns is. ]
I don't know how good I'd be at any of this. But I want to be with you.
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That said, I'm not sure how good I'll be, either. I've got a stable job, great benefits, and practically unlimited PTO because I rarely take it. And therein lies the problem, right?
… But if it's us, I know we can make it work.
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