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... Mm.

[ he pockets it again.

before getting up off the bed and plopping himself onto the floor, right in front of elysium. ]

How are you?

I'm fine. It's just been a little exhausting.

[ For once, this seems true.

There's even a little flicker of relief when Thorns approaches, where uncertainty had been. ]

I thought I was going to lose you.

[ the severity of his injuries was beyond what he thought they could take care of, when things are so limited here. ]

How would I explain that to your captain?

We were meant to go up against a deity, so I'm surprised we even made it back. That was the purpose of the supposed trip.

[ Extending his hand, he holds it out palm faced up. Unfortunately for Thorns, he isn't about to let him derail their conversation. ]

Do you think I'm less myself?

That feels like an insult.

[ he's still elysium, at the end of the day. he carefully reaches out to place his own hand against his, a little amused that this was the reason he had been originally searching for him the other day. ]

You are always you. But I'm still not sure how much you remember. You're being a little too careful with me.

[ His hand closes around Thorns', tugging him close enough to flout decorum, but not enough to erase the space between them entirely. There is still a gap between them—insurmountable, maybe, given the context, but his fingers press into the back of Thorns' hand anyway in an attempt to keep him anchored in place. ]

If I am, does it matter, then? How much I do or don't? I know you're important to me. I think that's enough to know what I should do.

[ Tacking on an 'I know' is a little different from leaving it as just 'you are,' but that's exactly why he's keeping his hold firm, eyes trained on Thorns as if he's meant to pin him down. It's not as if he doesn't understand his awkwardness——he would be, too, were it the other way around. But unless they address it, are they getting anywhere at all? ]

[ it is a little funny that it's more apparently that elysium isn't himself simply because he is revealing more about how he's feeling than he normally would. but it's a tell that only people who know him well would be able to pick up on.

his gaze flickers to their joint hands then back to elysium's face. ]

What is that, then?

The more I thought about it, the more memories I seemed to have of not remembering why I did something or the emotions associated with them. Weird, huh?

[ A real roundabout way to say: nothing, his own gaze settled on their hands. ]

Can I do something? After exploring one of the places earlier, I've had this urge I've been trying to keep to myself.

[ thorns won't press further on that; it actually seems a little wrong to, when elysium isn't entirely himself.

he thinks of the previous week and wanting to hold hands... thorns figures it's something like that. ]

Yeah. Sure.

[ …

He lifts their hands gently, closing his eyes as his mouth lands on the back of Thorns'.

The silence stretches, long enough to be conspicuous. It looks like he's thinking about something. ]

[ oh, he's just kissing his hand. that's fine. ]

[ HE'S KISSING HIS HAND????????? ]

[ wait, no. he said it's one of those weird impulses. it's fine... ]

[

why does thorns care. no. he doesn't care. he goes back to being zen...... ]

[ Is Thorns really not going to say anything. Help me. This is such bullshit.

Several more minutes elapse before he lowers their hands. ]

Thanks. I wouldn't want to do that with anyone else.

[ what does he mean by this ]

[ why would he make it awkward... also what does that mean. ]

... You're welcome.

[ isa's voice rings in his head... ]

You've been wanting to do that?

The curse.

[ ARE CURSES THIS CONVENIENT? ]

I wouldn't want anyone to misunderstand and fall in love with me.

[

they are still holding hands ]

[ they sure are...

thorns slowly nods his head, because that is a familiar level of stupidity coming from elysium. ]

You don't have to worry if it's me.

[ This may not be a level of stupid he is familiar with, but it is a level of stupid that makes him laugh. Despite everything, it's somehow comforting. ]

Yeah?

[ but not misunderstanding is fine…

they will just continue to sit here holding hands, then. okay. ]

[ they can just sit on the floor while holding hands. thorns is actually staring at their hands.

... ]

If they sat through Isabeau's lesson, they might get the wrong idea, yeah.

[ Elysium is going to explode when he gets his memory back, don't worry. He is also staring at his hands, kind of like he's in awe. ]

What was he teaching?

Things about having crushes and love.

[ thorns was the worst student in the world because it just all went over his head.

but maybe elysium would have enjoyed it... ]

[ He is learning so much about Thorns. He is also learning so much about himself. Or maybe he's always known these things about himself…? ]

Huh. What were your takeaways?

That it was all very complicated.

[ apparently you can get a crush on someone because you hate them? it's all too confusing to him... ]

There's too many layers.

[ He glances back up at Thorns… ]

For you, it's probably enough that the other person is reliable, right?

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