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[ HELPPPPPPP runs back at you and catches you with my stinky arms!!!! The way he's immediately like ❓ because why are there two voices coming out of this thing at the same time? And why is it spinning? Hello? WE HAVE STREAMERS ON TERRA NOT VIDEO CONFERENCING!!!! ]

Huh? [ says it back. ] Is there something stuck in this thing?

[ For being a communications guy, he's learned that way too many fucking things are haunted in this place so he cannot be sure what this is. He starts shaking his compact wildly expecting something to fall out. ]

[ twirls you around. Also. How do you have streamers but not video conferencing. AK are you okay. ]

Gah! [ First, why is it TALKING AGAIN. Tries to steady it, peering into the mirror with a squint of their only good eye. ] No..?? I don't think so?

[ Talking with a compact mirror is normal behavior and not at all something only insane people do. Hear it here first. ]

[ we just don't think about ak's technology very hard it's fine.

But, oh, the yelp gets him to stop real quick. Wouldn't want to harm a ghostie friend! Or—not a ghostie friend, apparently, if what they're saying is true. At least, AK consistently has the individual working parts in order, so he visibly cottons on moments after the footage steadies. ]

You don't think so? [ he waves in front of the mirror. is the other person seeing this? ] Then what am I?

[ so valid and true.

Well the the reflection seems to calm down? More curious that their own reflection doesn't stare back in confusion, like they're looking into a hole of another room. Another place. And the person that looks back... is not someone they recognize? ]

I don't. [ Blinks a few before he just. Awkwardly waves back... does it work?? ] ..A person?

[ He's currently in the manor, so yes, they're looking into the hole of another room! When he sees the other person wave back, he brightens into a glow. Good to have that theory confirmed. ]

Ding ding. You got it! You've reached 1-800-ELYSIUM'S-HOTLINE. Who do I have the pleasure of speaking with today?

[ There's something strangely familiar in his manner of talking that gets them squinting a little but they ease down. Mostly with some puzzlement over the mention of numbers and something about hot..?? ]

Uhh. Siffrin. Pronouns are he/they. [ Nailed it. The introduction feels almost automatic, even though it feels like it's been ages since they've introduced themselves before today. His hat tilts with his next hit, brow raising. ] And you're..?

[ monsieur hotline. ]

[ Hot is a very good takeaway. Good work, Siffrin… ]

Aha—! Nice to meet you. I said it earlier, but I guess it flew over your head?

[ There's a laugh, but nothing about it is malicious. ]

It's Elysium. That's how call centres tend to respond when you phone in on them with something similar to what we're using here. Let's see… You've only just stumbled on the hottest and the brightest guy you'll ever meet. I've been meaning to check this thing out since I found it on me, but I haven't had the chance. Y'know, just in case it decided to curse me the moment I opened it.

[ … ]

How're you feeling?

[ tears up in all our fantasy europeans ]

[ Siffrin would not think it is a good takeaway. It i as cringe as someone calling themselves King. ]

Did it?

[ A brief flick of confusion, but then he laughs at them?? Their cheeks flush a light tint of shade because hey, it wasn't obvious okay!! Recomposes, blinking slowly, muttering quietly to themselves. ] "Phone" in..?

[ The self confidence in this guy. Brows pinch, lips quirked in an unsure smile. Hottest and brightest guy...

(You don't really see it.) ] I guess I never considered it being cursed.

[ Honestly, it would have been something mistaken as another souvenir stuffed in their many pockets. ...?? Huh. What is this sudden topic change. ]

I'm fine. [ Awkwardly. ] ..What about you?

[ He is checking to make sure his new good friend suddenly hasn't become possessed by demons… Sometimes, you're just a silly lil guy. ]

You sure? Nothing feel off? All your limbs are where they should be, senses calibrated the way you remember? Can you touch your toes? Feel your nose?

[ there is a snort because

he managed to rhyme. okay. ]

[ SILLY GUY BEHAVIOR... it's too familiar of Loop behavior. In that. It's hard to tell if they're being messed with here.. maybe demons here are quirky. Who can say. ]

What are you? My doctor? [ Which is also said silly. Wrinkling their nose, hmm... ] Eye don't know about all my limbs, but so far everything else seems to be there. Better is my nose isn't running yet.

[ hehe. ]

You must've not done a good job of eating your apples. I'll be taking that as an an admission of your guilt. Starting now, we'll be conducting your physical.

[ This entire conversation is silly. God. He is so amused it's written all across his features and in how he almost chortles. ]

Just kidding. Are you in the middle of anything? [ He's an ethical researcher and will ask for consent… ] Since I have you on the line, there were a few things I wanted to test.

Sometimes, an apple doesn't always sound a-peel-ing.

[ Sticks tongue out briefly with their casual shrug. The amusement is clear to see, which is exactly why their lips remain curled up in reflected amusement. Though the inquiry comes and their head tilts. Curious. ]

..Not really. [ (Despite having.. time now, you're actually not doing much with it.) ] Test.. with the mirror?

That's the core issue! You gotta force yourself to eat and do things to stay healthy. I bet you didn't seed that coming.

[ help

They can move on… ]

Anyway, my real line of work has to do with something similar to these things, which is why I'm annoyed I didn't notice what they were earlier. What's their range? Are they affected by interference? If someone's tapping in, can we tell? Hi, by the way, if you're out there! These things are important to figure out to establish their reliability and use cases.

[ HELP

The puns unfortunately get to them. Their eye crinkling with mirth, laughing at the jokes that are so terrible but that's what makes them good!! It helps loosen some of the tension in their shoulders too. Weak to terrible puns. The temptation is there to keep the puns going but Elysium moves on so Siffrin lets it go. ]

..I can't say I'm familiar with something like this. [ Siffrin listens along to the ramble, the spur of conversation patiently and without need to interrupt, but by the end of it they do put that out.

(..Wait, could someone else really be listening along..?)

(Still, you could try to help. Be at least somewhat useful.) A pause. ] Well, there was a craft I could use with someone where I could hear their voice long distance. But it wouldn't work when I went too far and high up.

[ Being stupid is how you ignore your real problems like being stuck in "purgatory" and the fact that there seem to be so many things trying to kill them if they aren't already dead. And all the teenagers. There are too many teenagers. It's fine, he's fine. They focus on what they can do.

Sorry. Siffrin's just been dragged into his hyperspecialisation and now they're going to have to go through it with him. Congrats on employment! (Without pay… the most hellish of scenarios.) ]

Usually there's gotta be some kind of infrastructure in place for communications like this to work. I say usually, since… I have something that can get around it too, with the same stipulations as yours. But I haven't really seen any of that here. Better to figure out the exact parameters now rather than be caught off guard later, yeah?

I joked about a physical, but I did want to see if it'd work from one boundary to another on the opposite side.

[ Being stupid and bottling up your feelings. True and totally smart examples to avoiding facing the reality of your problems. Even if the amount of teenagers is alarming. Who did this.

But wow, employment without pay... it's what he always wanted. Not really but also Siffrin seems okay to go along with it because look, he's being useful SOMEWAY. Right? ...Right..?? There's natural silence from them, however they do nod now and then. If to show they're still listening to the man. ]

Mm, makes sense. [ What if something comes up and only then they realize their only means of communication doesn't work? As new and different as this is, and chances are they're bound to forget it exists - it's worth checking out. Given they seem to be standing up, heading for the door - ] Okay.

Which direction are you heading in? I'll go the other way. If the line cuts short, I'll come to where you are. Can't discount the possibility of other variables interfering with the experiment…

[ Hmm. Suddenly rocked with worry that something could happen. Thinks about his maze run… ]

If you notice anything weird at all, abort.

Hmm.. I was thinking towards the lake?

[ It at least seems distantly far out. Though, there's also a chance he just ends up stopping at the shore but... maybe they could test some swimming too? A pause at that last comment. ]

I'll be fine. I'm quick on my feet so, if needed I can put distance.

[ swimming in this environment is WILD. siffrin… you could get eaten… you are just a lil guy. ]

Make it a promise?

[ He holds a pinky out to the mirror. ]

I can head south.

[ It's fine, it's fine. Something something grew up on island. What's a lil swim? ]

..I'll do one better. [ It takes a moment to register, the familiarity of it making them smile, holding up their own pinky. ] I super duper promise.

[ A nod. South.. so they should aim more north then. ]

Super duper…

[ There's a short snort of laughter, and he instinctively hooks his pinky to seal the deal with a little shake. Conversation always has made things less mundane; having someone else's voice fills the space beside you, even if they aren't physically there. ]

You'll have to enlighten me on the difference. What happens if you break it?

[ maybe ask that before you shake on it. too late! ]

Just means I'll try super duper hard not to break it.

[ Pinky shake to the mirror. Which feels SO silly. But.. even something like this is better than being left alone with their thoughts. Giving them something to focus on. ]

I think when Bonnie would have me make a super duper promise, they'd say they would punch me if I broke it. Which.. I guess makes sense with a preteen.

Oh, like reinforcing it with an extra little oomph. Okay.

[ Continues to play along. Things can always get sillier. ]

I don't know about punching you, but here's to hoping I won't have to come up with an alternative. Are you a lot older than your Bonnie friend?

Yeah.

[ Basically. It's how they understood it anyway. ..Wait. A squint. ]

..Yes? Considering Bonnie is a preteen and I'm an adult.

[ Are you calling them a child. ]

[ HELP

The squint makes him look away. This will get worse if they meet each other in person, probably. Dwarves exist… it's fine… ]

Woah, is that a bird…? First time I've seen one of those here! Or——maybe not? What a trick of the leaves!

[ COUGHS!!! ]

Anything interesting on your end?

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