inbox / purgastory.

[transmit]

HELLO

"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:

cursed chihuahua papers

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[selfconcept]

"Because I like you and want to make you happy."

[ Easy.

He doesn't have complicated reasons... but he couldn't bring himself to say "love" instead. ]

[transmit]

[


LOVE?!?!?!?!

Elysium's thoughts aren't veering in that direction, but they're certainly going somewhere. ]

… What about your happiness? Don't give me the nonsense about everyone's happiness being your own, because that's what I tell people.

[ elysium like pot kettle but i expect you just to just accept it ]

[selfconcept]

"... But that's how I really feel."

[ he's just fuckin appalled like how dare you assume that it's false ]

"I feel happy when I see other people happy. Unless you want some kind of dissertation or something about it."

[transmit]

Yeah. Give it to me.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien rolls his eyes (affectionate), but he's quiet about it, trying to think of a way to put it. ]

"... I like violence."

[ That's what he'll start with. ]

"I like fighting. I like antagonizing others for fun. I like seeing them break down in real time when I erase their desires and ambitions in front of them. I like seeing them get fucked up beyond belief because I believe that it's fun at the time, like deleting the memory of why someone is fighting so hard for something that they can't even remember that they scream in anguish in trying to recall. It makes me happy seeing the horrors on their face. I relish in their reactions and take in their dying words as something like a collector's trophy."

[ He looks up past Elysium's feathers and hair at the "sky". ]

"... But I like seeing other people happy too, because I don't get to see something like that as much anymore."

[transmit]

For liking all those things, you sure haven't let them define you in the slightest.

[ What else is there to say to that? ]

That's what you mean by vacation, huh.

[selfconcept]

"Mhm... "

[ He mumbles idly. ]

"I've been behaving. I also like the people here. Except for that one time when I tried to out-eat Obikawa. I think a lot of pent up stress exploded for that moment."

[transmit]

What you do when you don't have any obligations says more about you than the other way around.

You don't think so?

[selfconcept]

"It's still a part of me regardless, and something people will have to eventually face if they hang around me long enough... whether I have obligations or not. I just wanted to fight him and maybe eat a god on the way. I got what I wanted, even if I died from it."

[transmit]

Uh huh. I'm awful at thinking that far, though. Guess I'm stuck making judgements as they happen.

[selfconcept]

[ Hien is a little quiet as he processes things in his head for a bit, still looking up at the "sky". Does he feel at home under the bright, starry sky? Has he ever felt that? It was a simple night in Paris while sitting on the edge of the fountain. ]

"Same here, and I'm the one who has to live long."

[ He gives a small peck on the neck. ]

"Though despite everything... I like living. I'd live forever if I could."

[transmit]

[ is this… yaoi? 🏳️‍🌈❓🤨 pries open hien's brain.

But there's a quiet 'hey!' at the peck, followed by the roll of his shoulders. Don't fall off, buddy. ]

Living is how you have new experiences, yeah? And how you meet new people. I don't know about living forever, but… having more time wouldn't be a bad thing.

[selfconcept]

[ lol lmao ]

"... If I wasn't here, I would give you more time."

[transmit]

[ wrings your lol lmao out of you ]

Would you? Then how would we define how much time is enough?

[selfconcept]

"Until you grow old and die naturally."

[ Hien sighs. ]

"Like memories, I can also control the concept of life, but... it needs a lot of practice and it doesn't work here."

[transmit]

Hmm… Yeah? That does sound nice. Obikawa was saying I'd dry up like a fruit and it'd be satisfying to prove him wrong—people can age gracefully, but I think my choice of profession might get in the way of that next.

[ haha. ]

What a conundrum, huh.

[selfconcept]

"I know that you'll do your best in staying alive."

[ Though he would also like to get rid of Elysium's oripathy too, but he's not a miracle worker. He can only infuse life into something, not get rid of something so physical. ]

"So keep living to prove Obikawa wrong."

[transmit]

[ That's the thing, isn't it? He isn't sure about living that long. He doesn't know what his 'best' would look like, not when Mantra's varying degrees of exasperation towards him are so vividly etched into his mind.

Ignoring orders. Disregarding his life to save others. By his own measure, that is, to him, what he'd wanted his beautiful journey to be. And yet, it sits uncomfortably at odds with what he's just said.

He keeps all of it to himself. ]

I might get into juuuuuust as much trouble as you if not a little more so. If you're going as far as extending my life, shouldn't you be keeping an eye on me, too?

[selfconcept]

[ binch!!!!!! Hien is only slightly aware, because he thinks he knows the kind of person Elysium is, and thinks Elysium is overthinking something stupid. ]

"You say that like I'm a troublemaker."

[ the audacity of hien saying this ]

"I'd like to keep an eye on you forever, but if things go the way they should in Purgatory, I might not be able to."

[transmit]

[ truly, the audacity. He keeps himself from commenting on this and 'forever' being at odds with any natural lifespan, feeling a twinge of guilt that prick the inside of his chest.

It's easier, then, not to address it at all. ]

With how things will probably end? Ah. It's possible that next week might even be it.

[selfconcept]

[ Naturally, the "forever" just means until you die, but... ]

"Since it seems to be based on the seven sins for whatever time period?"

[ Virtues? Hien isn't even thinking about those. Purgatory also messed with his sense of time so the next day only begins when he sleeps and wakes up. ]

"If I meet the one inside my shard, it could be something or nothing. Either way... If it works, I'll see you off."

[transmit]

Mm. And a few of us have reported feeling closer to their shards more than ever.

[ Which is what they all came here for, wasn't it? It stands to reason that reaching them would mark the end of the journey, whatever form that end might take. ]

That's why it feels more important than ever to make the most of the time we have. It's almost a miracle, isn't it? That some of us managed to meet at all.

[ This would typically be where he bumps shoulders, but fortunately I have not forgotten that Hien is only six inches so he just bumps his head into him if anything. His voice drops, softening, and he finally lets himself rest against the railing, his weight going slack against the cold metal. ]

You owe me an answer back, by the way. You asked how I felt about the quote, but how do you? As one of the stars in the night sky?

[selfconcept]

[ It's what they all came for, but sometimes you have mixed feelings about wanting it but at the same time you don't for more selfish reasons. ]

"I like those sorts of miracles. People meet others, and sometimes a single interaction can change their lives for the better. I would like to think that there are more of them than we would like to believe."

[ It's the little optimistic part of him, because at the core of his being, despite everything that happened, this trait still sticks with him to this day. ]

"Would I really be one of the stars?"

[ Hien is contemplative as he thinks about the single night in Paris as he sat on the edge of the fountain while waiting for his boyfriend at the time when Hien was a human, finishing up his concert. He didn't realize that he was being stared at for a while, until his boyfriend spoke up:

"When I look up at the stars, I feel so small and insignificant. But you... you look like you're right at home under the night sky."

When asked about what it meant, his boyfriend changed the topic. Hien feels that he still doesn't understand. ]

"Because I always feel like I'm on the ground with everyone else, despite everything."

[transmit]

Yeah. Me too. That's why we live, and why we keep meeting new people. Everyone thinks miracles have to be some grand thing—and they can be, but the miracles of everyday are just as important. Without them, our horizons never widen. We stay the same, without growth or change. And… that's no way to live.

[ He smiles, light. He reaches up to try and twirl a strand of Hien's hair around his finger. This fails for obvious reasons. ]

… You know, I usually don't mind whatever form you show up in. But I'll admit this one's pretty inconvenient. You're not going to be mad at me for saying that, right?

[ But, it may also be their saving grace. Since that's a dead end, he tries the one option he hasn't yet: fingers sneaking to Hien's back, testing whether he’s ticklish with a light scratch. And, almost idly— ]

You don't think you could be that miracle for someone else? [ Teasingly. ] I wonder if you realise how many people gravitate toward you. Not because of what you are, but because of who you choose to be. It's always the ones who don't notice how many lives they're touching who end up touching the most.

[selfconcept]

"Why would I be mad..."

[ He likes the physical affection though, and squirms a little with the light scratch.

Hien also wants to refute that, but he knows that he can't. Even he's aware of how much he affects someone's life, whether positively or negatively, when he just comes and goes like he was never there. He's not proud of the fact, but he doesn't hate it either. It simply is. ]

"Because I'm nice and provide what the people want?"