inbox / purgastory.

[transmit]

HELLO

"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

GOODBYE

TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION

inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:

cursed chihuahua papers

Comments

[oversea]

No, it's your bed. I'm the guest.

[ he can take the floor... ]

I'm used to sleeping without a bed.

[ so is elysium. but still. ]

[transmit]

[ These rooms are so fucking sad.

And just when he's about to open his mouth to say something, likely in protest—a cat launches itself off a windowsill, paws outstretched and aiming straight for his feathers. Elysium immediately steps behind Thorns, hands on his shoulders as he unceremoniously shoves him forward like a human shield. ]

[oversea]

[ OKAY

THE CAT LANDS ON HIS FACE AND NOW THORNS HAS TO WRESTLE TO GET IT OFF ]

[transmit]

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!!! They won't leave me alone!

[ thorns is


on his own ]

[oversea]

[ COOL THANKS!!!!

it takes a moment but he finally detaches the cat... and plops it onto the bed where it scurries off in zoomies.

thorns' face.... is a mess of scratches and cat fur... ]

Are you sure your date wasn't bad because of you?

[transmit]

They've already taken so many feathers from me…… Thorns…

[ He sniffs and pathetically droops his head against Thorns'. He's going to get PTSD at this rate… ]

[oversea]

You make yourself an easy target. Maybe you should cover them up?

[ he reaches over like he is about to fix them



and then lets his hand drop back down. ]

You should look less pathetic.

[transmit]

If it was just me, it would've kept trying. You don't know what I've been through…

[ Haunting.

…



He lifts Thorns off his feet. ]

[oversea]

Why.

[ WHY IS HE BEING LIFTED ]

[transmit]

[ …

So they can go into the bed together. ]

I changed my mind. I need you as my bodyguard.

[ Tucks his face against Thorns' back. Thank god emotionshare week is over. ]

[oversea]

You're a pain...

[ he says this, but he... makes himself comfortable and just accepts this arrangement. ]

Is the date still going?

[transmit]

Isn't this why we have each other's backs…?

[ He will help Thorns mutiny again before he wins any war against cats. ]

But I guess so. It can officially end at midnight, whenever that is.

[ me just never questioning the passage of time ]

[oversea]

We'll be asleep. So it'll end in the morning...?

[ also doesn't question the passage of time. ]

They don't bother me as much. I think because Nene chases them.

[ which

is a completely different set of problems actually. ]

[transmit]

Yeah. Are you thinking of leaving right after?

[ How embarrassing would it be if their date didn't count as a date? A part of him wonders if this counts for intimacy, even if Thorns doesn't seem to care.

… His arm settle loosely around Thorns' waist. Funny how the insurance part just ended up happening. But also? They're two grown men in a fuckin single. ]

If you're going to do that, you should at least let me borrow Nene first.

[oversea]

What do I get in exchange for that?

[ is he running a charity? lending out his nene, who does not belong to him...

there's a pause, and then he turns so that he's facing elysium. ]

[transmit]

[ HE WANTS HIS BESTIE TO KEEP GETTING MENACED? ]

You're kidding me. Give me back the box I gave you.

[ Technically it has Thorns' name on it, but it is not Thorns'. Elysium is going to kill him. Or, well, attempt to; the kick he's about to deliver would be pathetic at best given there's zero room for a proper windup.

But then Thorns turns.

He freezes, staring back. ]

?

[oversea]

If you want it back you can go get it.

[ hi.

there isn't any specific reason for why he turned other than the fact that he wanted to; it's always better to talk to someone while looking at them, after all, even though this is a very close-up view of him. ]

Unless it was always a bribe for Nene...?

[transmit]

[ Hi…

His gaze drops down to avoid eye contact. Is Thorns' chest right in front of his face? Thanks. ]

You're the one making it transactional? Your good friend's out here fighting for his life, every day of his life. [ If he's talking twice as fast as he is usually, that's Thorns' imagination. ] Where's your sympathy?

[oversea]

[ it's just tits.....

maybe elysium just talks fast when he is really sleepy and scared of cats. ]

This is me being sympathetic.

[transmit]

[ his s-rank milkers…………… :florshed: ]

Leaving me to fend for myself?

[oversea]

[ HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY MILK

he rolls his eyes. ]

I'm with you right now. Is that not enough?

[transmit]

[ twitter would never lie to me ]

I'm talking about after.

[ head butts. ]

[oversea]

[ now he is being attacked after doing him a favor... rude. ]

You're not going to ask to move in with me again?

[transmit]

[ THIS IS A PART OF THEIR DATE WHAT FAVOUR ]

That ship has sailed.

[ … ]

Would you move in with me instead?

[ literally what is the difference. ]

[oversea]

[ there is no difference!!!!!! elysium is so annoying.

he reaches over to poke him on the cheek. ]

Do you just not want to move your stuff?