![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
inbox / purgastory.
HELLO
"You've reached Elysium! Lost? Need an ear? I'm your guy! I'll get back to you as soon as I can."
GOODBYE
TEXT | VIDEO | VOICE | ACTION
inventory bc i don't know where else to put this:
cursed chihuahua papers
post cyoa action!
ANYWAY. HE'S HUNTING DOWN ELYSIUM at some point after most of the hullabaloo of returns has died down WHERE IS HE.]
no subject
But the icon is just me doing the above to you. Dahut can find him in the manor… staring off into the distance… he is healed up now, wow! There are also many cats crowding around him and batting at his feathers, but for whatever reason he doesn't seem to care?
He is the bust he'd tried to commit larceny for… gasp. ]
no subject
Don't just be the bust you try to commit larceny for SIR. Dahut will pause for a second on seeing him because he's like wow! Everyone sure does look like shit emotionally if not physically! What the hell happened out there!!!
He will make his way over soon enough though, and start scooping away some of the cats that are batting at his feathers.]
no subject
For a moment, he just stares at Dahut like he can't quite place what he's seeing—and suddenly, there's confusion, recognition, guilt all at once bottlenecking the air from coming into his lungs. It seizes him, stops him cold; his head dips, hand clamping over his own neck as if he can force the feeling out, quietly gasping for air that won't come fast enough.
You don't have to commit the crime to be haunted by it. Sometimes it's enough that the thought existed at all and that you learned you had the capacity to imagine it in the first place. ]
no subject
Anyway this is a very concerning reaction HELLO. He's mentally categorizing all of these little expressions that filter through and the actions that follow and then being STARTLED BY HIM JUST CLAMPING A HAND OVER HIS OWN NECK. SIR.
He's quick to set down the cat he'd currently been moving and reaches for Elysium's wrist instead, just placing his hand there for now like he's trying to see how tightly Elysium's grasping and whether or not he needs to actually try to wrench his hand away.]
Don't hurt yourself any more than you've already been hurt.
no subject
Anyway, the vibe is this man might genuinely choke himself if left to his own devices so it's going great! Dahut's going to have to put a little elbow grease in it if he wants a chance at wrenching his hand off. Give me a 1d20… jk.
But he seems staunchly convinced this is how he can help himself. ]
It's nothing compared to what you went through. I'm sorry. … I'm sorry…
no subject
OH MY GOD THOUGH DO NOT. As soon as he realizes that Elysium is actually like FOR REAL GRIPPING he will absolutely try to wiggle his lil demon fingers between Elysium's hand and throat so he can at least create a little bit of space. i rolled a d20 for fun and got a fucking nat 20 HELP ME
ELYSIUM IS SAYING WORDS that make no sense to him but it's fine, because he is a smart cookie as he has said, so he's piecing things together pretty quickly. First things first, though, in a calm and clear tone:]
If you choke yourself unconscious, I won't be able to ask you what you mean, you know. Because to me, there isn't anything for you to be apologizing for, considering the only thing I've gone through today is helping embalm your body.
[Which is not fun but definitely not worth whatever is happening that's causing Elysium to react like this.]
no subject
Imagine if he'd followed through on intrusive thought #39843 since their comeback, asking Dahut what his baseline would be for taking another life. Of course Elysium has something to apologise for—that's no way to see a friend, much less someone who'd given his life to him so he could live. He wants to fling himself in the River Styx so bad—or maybe that's the stint with the healing river talking, as that had been… nice, for reasons he still doesn't know how to articulate, and not just because it stitched him back together.
It felt a little like being wrapped in cotton. But, another memory, one that's kinder than the last.
(He inhales. He exhales. He can breathe again, so why does it feel like no oxygen is reaching his lungs?) ]
You really are quite the reliable señorito. [ … ] I should give you credit where it's due.
no subject
He should have done that, it would have been very funny. But since Dahut does not know what intrusive thoughts lie in this man's head, he will just keep his fingers firmly locked so Elysium can't choke himself out. His other hand moves too, this one lightly touching his shoulder before he offers a little bit of a wry smile.]
I try to be. I wouldn't be very good at my job if I wasn't, after all. [Imagine leaving your hands in the life of someone who seemed unreliable...] First things first: do your lungs or throat hurt, or is the pain here?
[Tapping the side of his own head. ARE YOU HAVING A PANIC ATTACK SIR.]
no subject
It feels bad to break eye contact, but it feels worse to keep it. The way he still believes Dahut is a teenager (real) so there are so many things he refuses to disclose.
Purgatory's babies… ]
It's definitely mental. [ He wills his hands to relax with little success. He is no longer actively harming himself, but them trembling is certainly an indicator of something else. ] There's a river not too far from here that healed me right up, strange as that sounds. Maybe it'll be worth looking into considering your profession?
[ he's not counting his oripathy… he is so familiar with it that he'd never mistake its symptoms as anything else. ]
no subject
He's really just surrounded by people with terminal illness even when he escapes Arpechele, damn. He will just kind of loosely hold onto Elysium's hand as his grip relaxes. It's easy enough to shake, if he wants. There's a little sigh.]
You're not trying to run away from me again, are you?
[He really just scurried away when he got balded and now he's trying to send Dahut away to go study the magically appearing freakass river that he's going to throw Yosuke into later in the name of science...]
I'll definitely take a look at it later! But that's for future Dahut to worry about.
no subject
He just slumps against Dahut's hand and offers it a squeeze in return. Not their poor Yoyo though… ]
… No. [ yes. ] Totally lame behaviour from someone who promised he'd look after you, that's all. I haven't fumbled this badly in years.
no subject
I don't know what sort of fumble you're talking about... I'm still here and all in one piece, aren't I? I'm not the one who's had to go take a dip in our spooky new magic river. But I'm guessing something happened wherever it was that you all went...?
no subject
In any case, the misunderstanding will continue until Dahut eventually decides to come clean. Sometimes, your canon regularly sends its kiddos into mines and offices on a regular basis and that's just a normal Tuesday for you, sniffle. ]
Easier said than done, ignoring something that happened to you even if it belonged to another life entirely.
[ Still, this Dahut is warm. This Dahut is very much human (?). And some of humanity's worst regrets have always been born from losing sight of the present in favour of the past. He lets out a dry little laugh and glances up from where he's been holding onto Dahut's hand, smiling faintly. ]
… It's true. There's nothing to do but to focus on what can be done now. Don't think any experience I could've had before this would've prepared me for the transition period of reconciling two lives, but it is what it is. [ A shakier breath. ] I'm glad to have the chance to make amends.
no subject
But it's true that this Dahut is warm and alive and very much human (?), and he's probably piecing things together as they speak, like a terrible little puzzle that indicates how much these four people had to endure while the rest of them were just PUTTERING AROUND ENJOYING ANOTHER DAY IN THE MAZE. Or not enjoying, maybe, but at least not suffering as hard.
As he continues to speak and basically confirms Dahut's suspicions, he just offers a reassuring smile.]
Whatever happened with you and that other Dahut, I'm sure that he would be glad that you had the chance to set things right by your own definition, too. Not for him, but for you. It's terrible to see people so rattled, you know? And that's not me telling you to tuck all of your feelings away, either!
[Misery and anxiety and stress and regret, too, are all human emotions that he cherishes...]
no subject
But he really is not used to being motherhenned like this… Usually, he's on the other end…
…
So he just continues burying his face, half-ashamed, half-shy, making an entire show of it when he tackles Dahut into a hug. Not the worst feeling in the world, accepting other people's kindness, even if he feels ridiculous for it. Un-gatekeeping feelings he's kept bottled his entire life, though? That'll be another while yet. ]
I'm getting you back for this.
[ why does he make it sound like a threat ]
no subject
Get motherhenned idiod... The way Dahut is so good at it even though he is the way he is. Caretaking! Sometimes you are a grandpa and it's just in your nature to fuss over the youngins. There's a little surprised, tiny sound when he gets tackled into this hug, but then he just laughs and ruffles Elysium's hair, careful of his feathers, before giving him a big ol' hug right back. ACCEPT HIS KINDNESS!!!]
When you say it like that, it sounds like something I should be preparing myself for, monsieur! How scary!
[They can crack open his feelings gatekeeping like a walnut later...]
no subject
Everyone has things they aren't willing to let on. Once you get involved with someone, you can't expect them not to do the same. Tough luck.
[ But they can enjoy this moment for a little while longer. They can crack each other later…… He really is just surrounded by Sasukes somehow without even knowing he's surrounded by Sasukes. It's fine. ]
no subject
Haha, well said, well said. I guess the both of us will have to prepare in that case, huh?
[THEY ARE SO CAGEY but it's fine...]
And along those lines! I hope you know I have a lot of questions about what happened! But since you look like you could use a rest, I can ask them later, as long as you promise not to try running again, okay?
no subject
[ Dahut is unlocking so many cursed nicknames, okay. But he's right… sleep has been a struggle… and the petting is actually rather comforting, and so is this positioning now that he's practically laid horizontal. Falls asleep like this.
He's lucky that bird people canonically weigh less than average, so having a grown man using him as a pillow could be worse. Assumes they have lives to get to after this nap is over and Elysium promises to get back to him after he gets a few more days to collect his thoughts.
leaves something in your inbox as a follow-up yippee ]
no subject